Unpleasant childhood memories ~_~
My parents got divorced when I was 10. Because my mum cheated on my dad. From that time she changed her boyfriend like 100 times, and none of those treated me as a real daughter, nor did I treat them as a real dad. I didn’t even try to get close to them because I was just little hater ㅋㅋ
If you want to spilt up with your partner in Korea, you are required to bring your kids to court because the kids should tell Judge who they want to live with. Imagine you have to choose between mum and dad… that’s such a hard question for little friends. Can you choose now though, Mum? or Dad.
I chose to live with mum side, ever since then I only see my dad like 1-2 times a year. on 추석, or on 설날.. visit Granny’s place with him and It was very…. awkward. My dad doesn’t talk to much and either do I -.- I also refused to see him so many time when I was teenager, even though He kept sending me a presents, pocket money etc because I think I was still angry, I don’t know what I was specifically angry about but guess none of my friends, has single parents but me… It made me so so so upset. still a bit.
Anyway, the absence of dad pretty much explains everything about my daddy issue. You’re not getting the love from the right place, so you try to find it in everything. You’re intensely yearning for care and attention from a man to compensate for the lack of dad’s attention. I never know how guys are supposed to treat women, or the other way I expect way too much from them because I had no one to look-up, or compare with.
I became excessively slutty not because I put only little value on sex, It’s the opposite, it’s because I tend to think sex can get them into a man’s good grace.
I recall,.. all my EXs, had sex first then date later. Maybe because I was WL/ML, or I thought that I’m in authority once I sleep with them. Guess people normally don’t do this ;;;ㅋ
This issue has been intensified (do I write this? has+been+pp right?) while I was WL.
sleepy! update more about it tomorrow~❤️ MAYBE