Seeking attention

I can see the more I write regularly the more readers visit my blog. (Does this sentence make sense?) So last 3 days my blog reached 500 views a day easily and It was kind of overwhelming i guess ㅋ I never know so many people would like my blog! Thank you!! 감사합니다!ㅎ💚 as Big country said writing gives me much pleasure and I wish it entertains you guys as well, so could be win-win. Maybe

Need to admit that the feeling towards vitamin was not love, it was more likely admiring. I.. realized since I had an epic girls’ night on Monday.

It was almost live broadcasting through snapchat, sorry that day I maybe made yours ears hurt.. I am sorry!

So, we all 3 are retired WL. The middle light brown hair girl graduated the best patisserie school in Sydney and now She is workingas a pâtissière. Her cake is just a-ma-ee-zing.

How can you not love her? She’s just

I always tell her that we, one day.. we need to open our own cake shop, (i don’t know what i’d do in cake shop, probably eat it all) I actually want to start right now as like many people already do domestic-bakery-and-delivery things through social media, eg instagram, yet She’s not that hasty like me so I’m waiting.

Please visit our Cake shop later☺️ ❤️

wait..why I’m promoting cake shop which has not opened yet??

Oh! I was talking about vitamin…

It’s been a while since we met, I met them around my birthday so it’s been 3months already. We sometimes talked on kakao but i ditched them, well.. if i can make an excuse i was single, so was busy at meeting new guys or doing jiu jitsu ㅋ both of them are kind of settle down so.. I felt isolated.. orightㅋㅋ so yeah the topic was always me (let’s say my relationship) because I’m the one always so excited or so fucked. They asked me how I, no, my relationship has been, if i got totally over my ex, etc.

I said yes, i got over him 200% but i got another problem, explained that

“I thought he likes me and yes, he said he still does.

Well but in different way..

He still takes care of me, but no, not in that relationship”

They were like

“What? ok, sounds like you got involved another douche,

classic chelsea!”

But then I needed to defence him because I know he is not douche, he even didn’t talk to me for a while because he was.. phew…  long story!

I don’t know, he might not like I write everything between him and me but what, it’s my blog. Hehhehhehe

So I.. i was tattered, because i… i just couldn’t bear the fact that vitamin’s attitude is changed from the moment he asked me to out, he bugged me to out at first, then now he barely answers my message. One day he was just disappeared, like he was never exist.

I just couldn’t put it up, not because I felt I’m used, because I felt something is wrong with me. I thought i did something wrong and he changed his mind not to like me, or sex wasn’t that good or fun, or maybe i am not hot enough from what he expected, just… you know you were not even interested at first but someone is really nice to me, then you might keen maybe, and now what, He does not like me! what the fuck?

and the more you know about him, he’s just flawless. Like nothing I can point out..

I thought oh well, He needed some toy for fun and yeah maybe I’m not fun enough toy so.. i want to kill myself maybe? Something like this.. No matter what he gave me, I just thought that i am a victim again (it’s my hobby) so I cried, begged him to tell me what made him turned to big no-no. I sincerely wanted to know what was wrong. After that Big mental disintegration day, He said He’s trying to keep distance from me because he doesn’t want me to cry more, or butt-hurted. If he says he isn’t changed, I have nothing to say.. maybe i’m the one who’s changed 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t know.

But then it’s clear now that he does not see me as a girl friend material but more specifically, someone in his life. .. according to him, I’m the one who’d be in his life. Well that’s called friend, right? or acquaintance. So.. yes, why not giving up? I wasn’t even interested, I even thought that he’s bragging all the time as fuck! 🙁

He’s still too good to me, gave me money because I have $6 short for paying my rent for September, free meal of course because he doesn’t want me to starve. Teach me how to weight so i can do it myself later when he’s not around. Everything is just like before, way too nice to me without payback but can tell trying to keep distance because he doesn’t want me to misunderstand. like I said I thought he likes me!

Mis·ap·pre·hended.

Lol Korean saying 💝김칫국💝퍼마신닼ㅋㅋㅋ

Well

Relationship isn’t one way. It’s like clapping.. so one hand can’t do it. You need two hands to make it sounds. My life motto is “포기하면편하다“, literally means “It’s easy if you give up”. Liberally “Ignorance is bliss”. When you assume it’s impossible, (you can say nothing is impossible but you can guess possibility right… I’d call it impossible when it’s less than 10% of possibility) you better give up because.. life is short and you don’t want to waste your energy and time for nothing. Hmm you always live with little tiny hope that’s also my life theme but what’s the point of like him if he doesn’t want me to. It’s violence!!! I like him so I’ll do what he wants me to do, not to like him.

Then I thought about it again. Wait… It wasn’t this easy when i just broke up with my ex right.. I couldn’t sleep, i couldn’t eat, i thought i am going to die but this time, why so easy to give up? I felt like…. something is wrong, right?

I thought about the reason why I liked him. He is.. the most discipline person ever in my life. Once i told him that i want to be like him when i become he’s age. Few years later, when i’m in his age, i want to have that strong will power, be more practical, more rational, less emotional, less volatile… financially, mentally secured so i can help others without any expectation, do whatever i want without harm others, …  right

He is totally opposite from who I am right now. Him and I often call myself as weak pussy because I am just too weak. Mentally, and also physically. Easily swayed.. by anything.. . like impulse, passion, sentiment.. which I don’t like it because it hurts me a lot. All my flaws, drawbacks that he doesn’t seem to have,.. all those things.. I want to be like him so bad. I wish I was him!!!!! Such strong independent pussy!!!

I even bought some processed tea because he drinks so, so cool, …. drink processed tea… but i don’t drink it any more since it’s unbearably not tasty.

It’s… It’s not love, right? It’s just fan-girl.

OvpcSv

We 3 girls were very doubtful, like.. I seem enjoy to make some dramas in my life so life gets less boring. So as soon as I think I got over my ex, I made another story, the story that you can’t read without tears. The feeling that I sensed.. I want to be with him, I want to have him, I want to be like him…  was Admiring..  like when you go museum and appreciate a piece of painting..

One of my favourite painting

Love shouldn’t. then.. What’s love?

Matcha soft serve is love

 

Well, I don’t know? as If I can define!!! Then I wouldn’t be here alone now ㅋ

Fuckday friday..

Maybe horny though..

But the fuck I am sure I’m fucked, I know..😞 is this sort of disease or what.. I think I fall in love everyone who buys me a food. Well this time I won’t point out him or his any detail. Because last time It was kind of… excessive attention.. hehe.. Now I’m enjoying A LOT this sexual tension with this guy,. We might, we would… We are going to fuck eventually one day. Both agreed to spend more time on it, so we don’t know when but from just think about it.. it actually.. turns me on. Turns me on a lot!!!! I don’t know why.. 😞 guilty.

Is it because He’s nice to me again? like I said street dog follows everyone who gives a little affection, (I’d say food) Even though you know you are going to be abandoned again? I am confused. How do I react when someone is nice to me? How can I not fall in love this easily? Am I misunderstanding again? What if he’s just adorable or charming so I want to have him because women are naturally fancied by pretty things? What’s the point of think this deep if He’s not even interested? What if he thinks I’m creep?

Thinking_Face_Emoji_grande

b7d

9d5

dd4

Comments 55

  1. David 02/09/2017

    Nice read, sounds overdramatic but entertaining nonetheless.

    “$6 short for paying my rent for September” – I think this one is a bit much… you’re earning $50k tax free (roughly equivalent to $70k taxable so you earn more than 50% of Australian population) and you don’t have an extra $6 on you?

    It’s possible though. I know people who save up a lot, but instead of putting it in a bank account, they have almost all of it in investments, like shares, and sometimes it’s not ideal to liquidate at an inopportune time.

    Anyway, you’ve put a lot of effort in keeping this blog going, so keep up the great work.

    • Chelsea 02/09/2017

      It’s not a bit much… Why don’t you think I’m a meth addict or i spend all my money on pokie machine? Pokie? Pockey ? anyway, thanks for enjoying my blog. I’ll try not to be tooo overwhelmed. 🙂

  2. Anonymous 01/09/2017

    Nice read, sounds overdramatic but entertaining nonetheless.
    “$6 short for paying my rent for September” – I think this one is a bit much… you’re earning $50k tax free (roughly equivalent to $70k taxable so you earn more than 50% of Australian population) and you don’t have an extra $6 on you?
    It’s possible though. I know people who save up a lot, but instead of putting it in a bank account, they have almost all of it in investments, like shares, and sometimes it’s not ideal to liquidate at an inopportune time.
    Anyway, you’ve put a lot of effort in keeping this blog going, so keep up the great work.

    • 01jun1988@gmail.com 02/09/2017

      It’s not a bit much… Why don’t you think I’m a meth addict or i spend all my money on pokie machine? Pokie? Pockey ? anyway, thanks for enjoying my blog. I’ll try not to be tooo overwhelmed. 🙂

  3. Snowball 02/09/2017

    Why do you blur your face in these pics?

    Pokie machine is correct – pocky is a Japanese snack. I used to date a Japanese girl who would dip my penis in chocolate and call it Pocky. Strange but funny.

    “37”

    • Chelsea 02/09/2017

      Because it’s non-filter lol it looks so me. And my friends don’t want to either.. pocky matcha flavor is love. The thick and short one. Those pockys are better

  4. Yuzu@mino.com 02/09/2017

    Why do you blur your face in these pics?
    Pokie machine is correct – pocky is a Japanese snack. I used to date a Japanese girl who would dip my penis in chocolate and call it Pocky. Strange but funny.
    “37”

  5. Kingquin 02/09/2017

    Hi Christmas

    I use to be a very discipline person when I was younger. Always planned my next action. Always analysis what to do, who to like, not getting too emotional. etc. Is that really a better life? I can’t say it is. It is just a different life. Now, I am more fluid. I let myself to deviated from that ‘perfect’ plan. It is more lively even though it is less perfect.

    Honestly, be yourself. Love with your heart, Cry the sadness, laugh with friends, enjoy the food. The trough in your life also tell as much a story as the peak. This is what life should be about. 50 or 60 years from now when you lay in your deathbed, the only question you will be asking yourself is whether you have live a life that is worth living.

    PS – You Macha softserve looks so yummy.

    Cheers
    Quincy

  6. Anonymous 02/09/2017

    Hi Christmas
    I use to be a very discipline person when I was younger. Always planned my next action. Always analysis what to do, who to like, not getting too emotional. etc. Is that really a better life? I can’t say it is. It is just a different life. Now, I am more fluid. I let myself to deviated from that ‘perfect’ plan. It is more lively even though it is less perfect.
    Honestly, be yourself. Love with your heart, Cry the sadness, laugh with friends, enjoy the food. The trough in your life also tell as much a story as the peak. This is what life should be about. 50 or 60 years from now when you lay in your deathbed, the only question you will be asking yourself is whether you have live a life that is worth living.
    PS – You Macha softserve looks so yummy.
    Cheers
    Quincy

  7. Kingquin 02/09/2017

    Hi Christmas

    I use to be a very discipline person when I was younger. Always planned my next action. Always analysis what to do, who to like, not getting too emotional. etc. Is that really a better life? I can’t say it is. It is just a different life. Now, I am more fluid. I let myself to deviated from that ‘perfect’ plan. It is more lively even though it is less perfect.

    Honestly, be yourself. Love with your heart, Cry the sadness, laugh with friends, enjoy the food. The trough in your life also tell as much a story as the peak. This is what life should be about. 50 or 60 years from now when you lay in your deathbed, the only question you will be asking yourself is whether you have live a life that is worth living.

    PS – You Macha softserve looks so yummy.

    Cheers
    Kingquin

  8. Anonymous 02/09/2017

    Hi Christmas
    I use to be a very discipline person when I was younger. Always planned my next action. Always analysis what to do, who to like, not getting too emotional. etc. Is that really a better life? I can’t say it is. It is just a different life. Now, I am more fluid. I let myself to deviated from that ‘perfect’ plan. It is more lively even though it is less perfect.
    Honestly, be yourself. Love with your heart, Cry the sadness, laugh with friends, enjoy the food. The trough in your life also tell as much a story as the peak. This is what life should be about. 50 or 60 years from now when you lay in your deathbed, the only question you will be asking yourself is whether you have live a life that is worth living.
    PS – You Macha softserve looks so yummy.
    Cheers
    Kingquin

  9. Snowball 3 02/09/2017

    I’d be curious to see what you look like without a filter actually.

    I dont mind match but i prefer the strawberry one.

    Is it just me or do you always seem to look for more advice when you are horny haha?

    “37”

      • Snowball 02/09/2017

        Thinking about it for a long time. And your conclusion is?

        I read an article in the paper that said regular masturbation helps aid a clearer mind. I dunno if the guy was correct or just a wanker though??

        You sound like me sometimes – you overthink things and get a very busy mind it seems.

        “37”

        • Chelsea 03/09/2017

          I’ve been thinking whole night couldn’t sleep much. I don’t want masturbation I want hot wet animal sex and sleep together but I don’t want to sleep with anyone I want to sleep with who I like, but I am also scared they will freak out after sex because I’m prick. thus, I can’t have sex even though I’m horny and it made me sad

          • Snowball 03/09/2017

            Hot wet animal sex sounds like the perfect cure.

            What do you think about that keeps you awake all night?

            Haha you are a prick after sex? In what way?

            “37”

            • Chelsea 03/09/2017

              No I meant I’m prick in general. Thus I’m also prick after sex of course. ㅋㅋ Ahhh I want hot wet sex so bad right now but I’ll wait until I get the another prick who can understand me 😌

          • Snowball3 03/09/2017

            I dont think you re a prick- you’d be too nice too be.

            I thought in this blog article you said you already have sexual tension with someone. Why dont you just go all animal on them haha. Just dont be a starfish – maybe having sex like a dolphin. After humans dolphins have the most casual sex of any animal.

            “37”

  10. Oh@look.com 02/09/2017

    I’d be curious to see what you look like without a filter actually.
    I dont mind match but i prefer the strawberry one.
    Is it just me or do you always seem to look for more advice when you are horny haha?
    “37”

      • wank@thetank.com 02/09/2017

        Thinking about it for a long time. And your conclusion is?
        I read an article in the paper that said regular masturbation helps aid a clearer mind. I dunno if the guy was correct or just a wanker though??
        You sound like me sometimes – you overthink things and get a very busy mind it seems.
        “37”

        • 01jun1988@gmail.com 03/09/2017

          I’ve been thinking whole night couldn’t sleep much. I don’t want masturbation I want hot wet animal sex and sleep together but I don’t want to sleep with anyone I want to sleep with who I like, but I am also scared they will freak out after sex because I’m prick. thus, I can’t have sex even though I’m horny and it made me sad

          • pikachu@mail.com 03/09/2017

            Hot wet animal sex sounds like the perfect cure.
            What do you think about that keeps you awake all night?
            Haha you are a prick after sex? In what way?
            “37”

          • wtf@blog.com 03/09/2017

            I dont think you re a prick- you’d be too nice too be.
            I thought in this blog article you said you already have sexual tension with someone. Why dont you just go all animal on them haha. Just dont be a starfish – maybe having sex like a dolphin. After humans dolphins have the most casual sex of any animal.
            “37”

  11. Phoenix 03/09/2017

    You know that habit or personality is hard to change.

    A lot of people go into relationship thinking they can make the other half into better person, but most of the case it does not work.

    To change yourself, you need to have a goal, short term goal is better than long term goal (human mind is terrible with long term goal ) and it will better if there are someone else that encourage you to do it.

    That’s why going to gym is easier to stick with when you have gym buddy.

    Sorry for the lengthy reply 🙂

    • Chelsea 03/09/2017

      What do you mean sorry, I like longgggg reply 😀 it always makes me think! Yes I agree whenever I think about long term life goal then I’m like “Fuck it, we all die anyway” … so my short term goal is, save up some money so i can afford Disney land trip ❤️❤️ and finally be dept free in 2 years so I can buy an ice creams to many people who bought me an ice cream 😌 after then… I haven’t thought about it.. well I’m also excited about N5M’s renovation, It’d be the biggest one in neighbour so I might tell to some of my friends that I’m managing nice brothel proudly. that doesn’t mean that I’m not proud of myself right now but yah…. anyway Dear donation god, thanks for enjoying my blog, We talk soon again!

  12. di0n3@hotmail.com 03/09/2017

    You know that habit or personality is hard to change.
    A lot of people go into relationship thinking they can make the other half into better person, but most of the case it does not work.
    To change yourself, you need to have a goal, short term goal is better than long term goal (human mind is terrible with long term goal ) and it will better if there are someone else that encourage you to do it.
    That’s why going to gym is easier to stick with when you have gym buddy.
    Sorry for the lengthy reply 🙂

    • 01jun1988@gmail.com 03/09/2017

      What do you mean sorry, I like longgggg reply 😀 it always makes me think! Yes I agree whenever I think about long term life goal then I’m like “Fuck it, we all die anyway” … so my short term goal is, save up some money so i can afford Disney land trip ❤️❤️ and finally be dept free in 2 years so I can buy an ice creams to many people who bought me an ice cream 😌 after then… I haven’t thought about it.. well I’m also excited about N5M’s renovation, It’d be the biggest one in neighbour so I might tell to some of my friends that I’m managing nice brothel proudly. that doesn’t mean that I’m not proud of myself right now but yah…. anyway Dear donation god, thanks for enjoying my blog, We talk soon again!

  13. Snowball 03/09/2017

    Im the same Snowball. I dont know why sometimes your blog makes me change my name to post.

    You thought id never be nice – I’m the nicest guy in the world. Except for maybe Cristiano Ronaldo – i love that guy.

    The key to a good relationship is lubricant and fried chicken. With those two nothing can go wrong.

    “37”

      • Snowball 04/09/2017

        Haha its late so i just like talking shit. I like fried chicken so thought id just add something random with it.

        Would you say you are a hard woman to please? I don’t mean sexually but in a relationship sense? Or is a bit of food and some good loving all it takes?

        “37”

        • Chelsea 04/09/2017

          KFC or KPS ㅎㅎ no I’m not hard to please kind of lady but I get bored so quick as you see.. and issues.. I’m insecure in many different ways,, too. small things! food is love but!

          • Snowball 05/09/2017

            Insecure is an understatement – my friend has a small penis and was very insecure. But then he found out he can fit it in glass bottles as a trick and everyone finds him funny. Now he loves having a small penis.

            You just have to find a way to like what makes you insecure. Unless you are Indian- in that case you are just unlucky.

            KFC and KPS both taste good – ones just got too much salt sometimes ( . Y . )

            “37”

            • Chelsea 05/09/2017

              Hey whole this morning I was thinking that… how about I will give you authority so you can write some as well? because you seem have many interesting stories. just a thoughts… I know you wouldn’t like it ㅋㅋㅋ how… how his dick fits to glass bottle? … that’s like …. my toooth brush case diameter… that’s upset… that’s disease ….

              • Snowball 05/09/2017

                Thats not a disease its a talent haha

                He would get a glass coke bottle and cross out the “e” and walk around asking who wants a cok?

                The only bit i found weird was when he would drink out of it after the trick – he would use a straw which i thought isnt very manly.

                Yeah i love writing – it lets me empty my head. Who chooses the topic?

                “37”

  14. wtf@blog.com 03/09/2017

    Im the same Snowball. I dont know why sometimes your blog makes me change my name to post.
    You thought id never be nice – I’m the nicest guy in the world. Except for maybe Cristiano Ronaldo – i love that guy.
    The key to a good relationship is lubricant and fried chicken. With those two nothing can go wrong.
    “37”

      • potato@icecream.com 03/09/2017

        Haha its late so i just like talking shit. I like fried chicken so thought id just add something random with it.
        Would you say you are a hard woman to please? I don’t mean sexually but in a relationship sense? Or is a bit of food and some good loving all it takes?
        “37”

          • fap@matcha.com 04/09/2017

            Insecure is an understatement – my friend has a small penis and was very insecure. But then he found out he can fit it in glass bottles as a trick and everyone finds him funny. Now he loves having a small penis.
            You just have to find a way to like what makes you insecure. Unless you are Indian- in that case you are just unlucky.
            KFC and KPS both taste good – ones just got too much salt sometimes ( . Y . )
            “37”

            • 01jun1988@gmail.com 05/09/2017

              Hey whole this morning I was thinking that… how about I will give you authority so you can write some as well? because you seem have many interesting stories. just a thoughts… I know you wouldn’t like it ㅋㅋㅋ how… how his dick fits to glass bottle? … that’s like …. my toooth brush case diameter… that’s upset… that’s disease ….

              • cok@bottle.com 05/09/2017

                Thats not a disease its a talent haha
                He would get a glass coke bottle and cross out the “e” and walk around asking who wants a cok?
                The only bit i found weird was when he would drink out of it after the trick – he would use a straw which i thought isnt very manly.
                Yeah i love writing – it lets me empty my head. Who chooses the topic?
                “37”

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