I’m not brave

Q : This is a question for Christmas (or anyone who feels they qualify to answer). Ive read your story and blog. You came to Sydney at 25 with nothing and worked out a life for yourself. My question is how did you have the confidence for all of this? To start a new life in another country with nothing at such a young age? To just go into sex work the moment you arrived in Sydney? How does one develop this self-confidence and boldness?

A : I .. I don’t know where do I start. Because for me… for me It was just happening nothing really I made decision, or decided to do this and that… Hmm but I guess, only guess because I was alone whole my life? My parents were both busy and they even divorced when I was little, ever since then I was always alone and didn’t need much help except money part. I don’t know how it feels like to spend weekend with family. Especially Christmas, New years day, like those big days.. Lucky I am only child so they could afford whatever I asked for but I wanted to be independent even from money. But I never could, until I started my ML career. Well I didn’t come to Australia to be ML, I came here to escape from my first boyfriend, one of my friend was already here  and She worked at Gloria jeans somewhere in Brisbane. She was making much better money than I was making, at that time I just graduated uni and started to work at high school as an… (a or an) teaching assistant. She was casher, not even barista and she made more money than me!

Omw

No, Australia wasn’t my very first oversea, US was, I was 19. I don’t know why but my dad asked me to go somewhere, so I was like

“Mm.. Newyork maybe”

Maybe because I watched Sex and the city? maybe because Newyork is big apple? I don’t know why I chose Newyork but I went there, stayed a month, did nothing but magnolia cupcake and guggenheim museum. I recall it was freezing, and banana pudding!!!

Since then every uni break my dad kept asking me if I want to go travel. I guess my dad wanted me to be independent and I think he’s right. First year I went to US, second year went to Japan, third year Thailand, Last school break I went to Japan again.. I was never with someone and never even tried to make friend there because I.. I am an introvert.

Your face right now

I am.. maybe..mm.. I was, I.. I didn’t know how to talk to people but now I know.. it’s called experience right? I think I quite like my previous job, It taught me a lots of things, like 1. How to talk to people, 2. How to fake feeling, 3. and so on

So coming Australia wasn’t big deal, I made flight ticket and asked mum and dad some money, came to Australia within a month since I had a chitchat with my friend. It was kinda random guess It was like,

“Hey how you doing”

“I’m OK, I’m in Australia, I make better money than you bitch”

I came to Brisbane, (because She was there, but she left 3 days later the day I arrived. ㅅㅂ ㅎㅎㅎ.) but travelling and working was different thing… I thought I could do probably anything but… firstly I had no working experience in Korea except teaching assistant, all the ads I looked at it were about hospitality… Secondly English…all I could speak was

“Hi how are you I’m fine and you?”

and there were only few options for this FOB, such as, Korean restaurant waitress, Korean restaurant casher, Japanese sushi maker owned by Korean, … I didn’t want to work with Korean because.. It’s Australia.. It’s uncool. ,.. I sent my CV to few Australia owned (maybe Russian, maybe Italian I don’t know they are all white anyway) and I was ignored 😀

So I decided to learn English first. I had to ask money to my parents again since I had 0 money left already :/ I then went to ESL in Byron bay, chose there because beach, and no Korean 😀 seriously, not only no Korean but no Asian, It was hard to find Asian live there. My classmates were also all Swiss either Brazilian, I think my pronunciation was better that time than right now, I speak 50% of Korean these days, 40% of English and 10% of Chinese/Cantonese maybe (Jerry, ban-ga-shi-aos, san-ger-ban : Jerry, 30mins, Room3) So it’s perfectly Konglish… sigh

Anyway.. don’t you guys think it’s too long already? I’m already tired of typing. However, I’ll write hard until 2nd of October to see the Wordads’ result. what if I get paid more than 10k? he…hheheh…hehehehe…….

Sooooooo, I stayed in Byron bay for half a year, It was relaxing~! All I did was wake up, talking about global warming in class, go beach, (I’m wondering that would Police put me in a jail if I write I smoked weeds a lot? this question does not mean that I have smoked weeds. I am serious.) and sleep. wake up, talking about obesity, go beach, maybe smoke cigarette only and sleep. wake up, talking about drug abuses, go beach, sleep. I was pretty much in confidence because I could talk about something else other than just where I’m from, how old i am. I also missed my Korean food too much. I came to Sydney with no reason (as usual) I don’t know why I came to Sydney. What if I chose to go Melbourne? wouldn’t it be veeeerrryyyy different?? I don’t have a future plan to stay in Sydney either. One day I might impromptu leave to somewhere very quite. You know you always miss something that you don’t have. When I was in Byron bay I missed city so much so I came to Sydney but now I miss Byron bay so much because Sydney is packed! it’s packed!!! so many people!!!! but… if i have to choose only one place I need to live ,.,.,.,. It would be city… not a country side… better be overwhelmed than get bored.

Came to Sydney, did same thing, (CV – rejected) I was desperate, I thought.. I won’t be able to make money here.. I was haughty.. I thought I could do anything because why not… and I had too big head… I thought It’s shame to do Korean-job because I had decent job in Korea. I didn’t come to Australia to serve Korean fried chicken ㅜㅜ I wanted to do something better than my previous job. BUT I had to something, couldn’t stay backpackers any longer like this. I stayed 12 beds room, (6 bunker beds, unisex, shared toilet) I wanted to sleep well and I didn’t want to call my parents to ask money again.

At last, I compromised reality, decided to get a job from Korean-version-of-gumtree.

failed hard and gave up

I remember that time (2012-2013) Korean job hourly rate was $9-$10. I know it’s fucked.. but also it was $1=1500won. so… it wasn’t THAT bad.. I looked employment page and there was a.. an,… advertise that says

“Girls wanted, get paid $80 an hour, you don’t even have to have sex”

Really?

Hmm.. I actually wanted to do this kind of job since when I was little. I always wondered what’s going on there (Prostitution is illegal in Korea) and as you guys know I wanted to be approved if I’m worth it or not, in a bit distorted way…though, if I get paid $80 an hour, that means I’m like 120,000won an hour. I now know I’m much more worth than that, but 120,000won is still (2017) big money in Korea. Back then I made about $1200 a month, NOT A DAY, in Korea. It’s like.. $6.25 /hour. WTF seriously, I’ve never calculated but It’s mad!!! I was ripped off!!! I was slave!!! I mean… If you work an hour,

 

Untitled-3.jpg

$6.25 vs $80.00

It’s even better because nobody know me here, I’m noob in Sydney and if I work only short time, make some pocket money, and go back to Korea, who’s going to remember me anyway? I can be back to my normal job when I get back and I’ll pretend to nothing happened in Sydney. It seemed merely perfect! ㅋ So I called them.

“Hiiii I want to work.”

They sent me a driver within 10 mins. I was that much precious for them because I was young, never experienced. Oh wait, there were so many advertisements actually, but I chose Juliet, in Burwood. Because they emphasise “Buffet style Breakfast, lunch and dinner” and “Nice apartment will be provided” damn I was sick and tired of hearing sex noises every night all night from under my bunker bed. European backpackers are horny as fuck. I still don’t understand… Maybe I’m too Asian.. how can you have sex in bunker bed? Someone is even sleeping under you two! 😡 so rude!!! 😡😡😡

Buffet style meal was not too bad, I had to pay tho

I don’t know

I had to pay $15?25?/day for buffet style meal,(It wasn’t that even fancy, it was just Korean style meal with a lots of side dishes) $300 for apartment, but well if you make $2000~$4000/week it’s nothing,. I mean, It’s ok to pay all of those things.

So.. , I wasn’t that brave, or in confidence. Maybe I’m more curious than others though. To be a ML wasn’t that hard compare to be a WL. I think I spent more than a week to decide to be a WL. ML and WL… It’s totally different in ML’s point of view, Well I did both, it’s same shit at the end of the day.

There’s a Korean idiom, says

“무식하면 용감하다”

Literally means

“You are brave when you are idiotic.”

Perhaps it’s similar to

“Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.”

in English. ..

Therefore, the ultimate answer for the question is

(1) I was wild, (2) I was curious, (3) I wanted to be independent from my parents, (4) I didn’t think much about the consequence of being ML, (5) I thought I end up make some pocket money and go back to Korea. And those thoughts were much bigger than (1) fear, (2) dreadfulness and (3) strain of being ML so I just did it.

 

1670 words. next question!!!

 

 

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Comments 21

  1. big country 21/09/2017

    Fascinating insight into the mind of a solo international traveller. Tell me more about the sounds you heard in the bunk beds room. Did you ever hear people trying to pursuade others into having sex? What, specifically were the sounds you heard? eg. Did you ever hear anyone announce (to no-one in particular) “I’m coming!” You know like, “Icu!” 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • Snowball 21/09/2017

      You got some weird questions BC – not even worth trying to write something funny.

      When you were a child would you put your ear against the wall in the hope of hearing your parents having sex?

      “37”

      • big country 22/09/2017

        It’s an inherently hilarious situation. Chelsea is lying there night after night in the dark and she’s listening to the cooing sounds of persuasion being met with reluctance. She’s hearing involuntary moans and groans. She’s listening to lewd suggestions. She’s hearing climactic exclamations of “Icu!” Beads of sweat form on her face as her imagination fills in the details. She’s the ultimate aural voyeur. And it is all taking place in sensesurround sound because she’s not only hearing it, her bunk bed is shaking too! Ha fucken ha!

        If you ****’s can’t see the comic potential of this, then how about you go away and get some fucken talent and maybe come back later.

        • Snowball 22/09/2017

          Did you have a boner when writing that retort?

          She didnt write any of that. You’ve been watching too many 80’s pornos me thinks.

          “37”

        • Tuggs-yayuka 23/09/2017

          “…get some fucken talent…”

          You call that talent. I call that being a little too creepy AF. But, eh, whatever makes you happy.

          Oh and no punt censoring “cunt” if you’re going to drop “fuck” in the same sentence.

          • big country 25/09/2017

            Hey dopey, there is a hierachy of swearwords. To save you running for the dictionary, it means some are worse than others.

      • big country 22/09/2017

        Ha ha! *gasp* is one thing I didn’t think of. (Between us we could probably do a short story. 😀

        Shaking like an earthquake? – it was definitely sensesurround sound then. 😀

  2. 1o1 22/09/2017

    This story inspired me. I’m going to ask that sexy Korean fried chicken girl out Tomo. I could save her from ml wotk in the future!

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