Random thoughts 2

I grudge against some words that thoughtless people use it for defining me. it’s like an ominous hints from diviner, I can’t find any words to against. prejudice is, indeed, true enemy to the truth.


I had a few boyfriends who don’t speak Korean. maybe it’s because I need some space that can never be translated in their language. someone who doesn’t know my language, so they never fully understand me, thus they will less loathe me. I may be good lover only for short time however I was not a good girlfriend in the long run. I loved someone irresponsibly as like I’m escaping from my ordinary days, falling in love is the best gateway for someone who loves to perpetrate something compulsorily. It’s great feeling, it’s electrifying high, and it’s exhilarating deviation.


we don’t question when someone meets someone, fall in love, and get married. but we’re immersed in finding reason for separation and divorce. why broke up and split can’t be natural things like falling in love or getting married? every relationships incubate being apart. need to be more comfortable, relaxed and blameless. which one is more agonising? can’t be apart from something because it’s scary, or can’t love because scared of separation. the one who never stops questioning about love, or relationship.. like endlessly, is exhausting me bad. the weariest person in the universe.


express, speech, talk, write if you can’t talk well and make your intention clear.


isn’t it normal to doubt about every love If you were loved once very very properly? someone loved you unconditionally, truly, and madly or ‘gave you’ love, not even loved you, someone just gave you love or taught you how to love so you feel like other’s are not genuine, but yeah


no one can reverse the flow of time. What we learn through life is that the attitude to cope with extinction, the attitude that accepts any kind of stranger with open mind while your life is foretelling the moment of loss. (????????) 
I though it is the failure of love to admit the end of the relationship, though, there is the four phases of life in relationship. There is no failure in love. Results do not exist in any way in life. like we don’t call death as a failure.


the moment that I feel like “I’m well grown independent strong pussy!!!!!”

1. when I sense the pleasure of conducting something that I think it’s right.

2. when I keep imperturbable composure that because I try not to judge. (????)

Comments 19

  1. Maxybon 22/11/2017

    I found your blog! I tried to get the link from syd99 but of course the pin dicks have blocked it so I tried to search for cutebutpsycho and I actually was on the right page but when I saw the homepage with the fragile sign I thought this can’t be it because it looked so professional. So I had to message you and ask for the link.
    Love is really beautiful at the beginning. It takes over your life and consumes you. BUT like a beautiful fire, love always fades and eventually burns out. Like a fire burning on the beach at night, all you want to do is look at it and sit close to it and feel it’s warmth. Then when you wake up in the morning it is still burning, only just. There is only ashes left and there no beautiful colours and no warmth. So you just throw some sand on it and put it out completely.

    • Negan 23/11/2017

      I would disagree with the both of you. It’s a pretty cynical and defeatist view point
      To use your analogy, the fire fades because of the lack of oxygen or fuel – no one is paying attention and stoking it. And if no one is putting in the effort to keep it alive, then by all means put it out. Clearly it’s not worth keeping alive.
      But there are other people who would want to keep the fire alive – because they want to build or make something from it like a blacksmith (a long-lasting committed relationship, a family); to cook and provide for others; to heal (cauterise) wounds (emotional and physical); and to keep warm and for comfort because the world out there can be cold. So they keep the fire going and do not kick sand over it just because it faded.
      And I disagree with “we don’t question when someone meets someone, fall in love, and get married…” and “every relationships incubate being apart.”Questions do get asked when someone meets someone and fall in love – how else do you see if the other is compatible or worth to be with? You get to know them more. You consider their qualities and flaws. Then if their qualities outweighs their flaws, you stick with them. If there are any issue, you try to resolve it and if it cannot be resolved then that’s the end of it.
      Relationships are not entered into just for the purpose to be separated later on – that would be counterintuitive and defeats the whole purpose. Why bother in the first place?

      • Nigga@black.com 23/11/2017

        What i meant by we don’t ask question …. is that people are not curious when someone meets someone, they’d just think oh well they are in love? Then later when they broke up people tend to be more curious about it. Not ‘i’ question to ‘my partner’ vice versa :> but yeah got cha point. Tell me more tell me more

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