san que people, many people worried about me if I kill myself after midlife crisis but I won’t, forever. and I’ll update more stories by tonight. PMS stroke me hard and I am about to kill someone instead kill myself.
I have treated customers badly, not because they are ugly or they are poor but my moods swings. I was so mean although it was very rare. You know sometimes, you just get annoyed by everything around you. bitch times.. After bitch session, about 5 mins later I felt very ashamed, sorry, guilty, like.. I shouldn’t have been that bitch, i should’ve been nicer 🙁 this kind of feeling
but this feeling is very very very dangerous. I realised recently.
I treated most of my customers very nicely not because I was born as a nice person, because deep inside my unconsciousness(?) I felt compassion, I felt pity for them. I thought they have problems so they are not able to fuck for free, so chose to pay. so I treated them nicely, because I thought they are like… socially neglected (in someway) those people deserve better!!!! so I served them with my best.
In consequence, many people think I’m friendly, bubbly, naughty and cheeky, and most likely nice attitude but I was the one who look down others. Remember? last time I asked here. Why some people look down others? Because you feel like you are superior by doing it. Guess it’s from inferiority complex, I was never admired until someone wrote review about our sex, yes, same shit again, aren’t you guys get bored reading my blog? ㅋ
it’s scary, isn’t it? I hate people who judge others or look down others so they can feel they are better person but It was me. I’m judgemental as fuck but why I’m not rational yet?
My weekend plan
I’m going to make a manual sheets for the time I’m not here, Australia. Last will and testament.
How to use SS, imgur, giphy, google sheets and something like that,, you know I like making prezi/keynotes/canva sort of things. it’s relaxing…
I’ve been spending weekend with nobody for more than a month now. These days my secret hobby is watching scary movie trailer/spoiler like this.
The actual movie should be played in the smallest size so I don’t get heart attack. and of course, no sounds. Also I have to read comment about this movie while video is being played so I don’t feel I’m alone. I recommend “get out” and “the purge”. (I didn’t watched whole movies but I know the stories)