I didn’t blog for a while (again) because I at some point felt like all this act which I write to share my own thoughts (maybe to get sympathies from readers who I don’t know well or I never even met) is not fun like before. or maybe I was just too busy at doing course. I don’t know
Instead, I published my own little tiny magazine and gave to people I’m appreciate of.
with my Internet press I make my blog(or any other social media) persona or people over/under estimate me as something else. It is still possible though, to recognise me as me myself yet it’s rare because I spent a lots of time to plan and organise for writing. My blogs still look very chaotic but imagine it’s processed chaos, my brain is chaos-er than this. like Spam is a can of unhealthy processed meat but it’s tasty when it’s well cooked and so.
Speaking of spam it’s been a while I have been experimenting a life of vegan. I started very strictly no-dairy no-eggs, collided with some mineral deficiencies especially Iron, Calcium and Vitamin B, never knew that I am allergic to zucchini but I am, (over 20 years It was one of my favourite veggie) well now I’m like vegan whenever I feel like, I had a lots of cheese last weekend and donuts from short.stop. I still am trying not to eat red meat but I start to take supplements, like so my body feel pretty much same, people ask me why all of sudden vegan if it feels same.
Hmm… why not?
30 years I had normal meals and I’m sick of normal meals, so why not try dairy-free, gluten-free for next 30 years? if it doesn’t bother me much then worth to explore I feel.
Back to topic: there would be instant feedback too in happy snoopy internet world. There are not many “like” here my blog but I can always observe people’s reaction. How long you’ve spent time on reading, How many articles you’ve clicked, where you all come from (references) and whether you click my Instagram account down there or not. such high-tech, I know! I pay for this service.
WordPress $33 /Month about a dollar a day.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that I am dependent on readers to validate myself existence, (I was 200% though) but deep inside secretly I’m still seeking someone who’s really engaging, giving attention, participating on/in/to me, my thoughts, my life, and ultimately myself. Like other little girls, upload their selfies, booties and boobies, wait until someone replies/likes and says
Only difference is that I don’t post as many nude selfies as before but more thoughts and expressions. I still want to make sure that I’m being OK by begging peep’s passive supports. I see people keep visiting here even though I don’t write very often. By typing exact address than through google search or other links. Then I sense, hmm.. they like my blog – why like my blog – because they think(feel) similar to me – I’m not alone@!
or maybe only because there always are random nudes in cutebutpsycho.net
Anyway, I’ve been thinking that being single isn’t that bad for an year by now, but maybe secretly I was seeking something to compensate this isolated, disconnected and scattered sense towards to myself and I assume it was blogging. there was more fun to get attention by many than by one but now what I feel both boring. don’t get me wrong, I would still post my tits some times, but I mean not much motivation to do it like before.
Went to bushwalking on rainy day. amazing experience!@
Define my identity from the mass isn’t very fond conduct. although I thought it’s quite accurate because when there are 10 people and 9 people like chai-latte other than pumpkin spicy latte than doesn’t it mean that chai-latte is more likely like-able? I surprised that pumpkin spicy latte is a thing in many other countries. likewise, I have only selected readers. but again, I’ll never stop writing, it’s so therapeutic it’s not scientifically proven but my 30 years of research shows that it is. There was just little subtle shift : 1. An attitude, 2. A medium of manifest. and I like it
I got new yoga mat on my birthday right, like last Friday.
It was pretty, Pink mat + beige kinda grey strap combination.
After 2 classes, I mean on Saturday I decided to leave my mat there because everyone seems leave their mat there.
There are 3 options.
It’s heavy, i mean not heavy-heavy, but think about it I don’t drive to City (it’s bodymindlife in Surryhills) unless it’s weekend. So I need to bring it from middle of Marrickville to Sydenham station, and 4-5pm Central station is really busy so I could probably hit people with mat, It’s annoying. So I leave it there and it stayed until Wednesday. I took 2 classes on Wednesday with my friend, one was for beginner other one was advanced class. Advanced class had almost 25-30 people and I sweat like eggplant. omg so good! Anyway, that was the last time I used my pretty pink reversible mat with grey strap on it.
I skipped Thursday, I go gym on Thursday instead and I went there today, exactly a week after I got that mat, it’s disappeared. I spent a while to look it up,
If you’ve ever done yoga, you know how dirty your mat is after a session. All the sweat, dirt from feet, hands, whatever from your body and from floor. And the fuck why you steal it?
Firstly I got angry because it was barely used, it was almost new, A thief stole it anyhow with fucking bad intention. Thieves are bad because they get other’s, without purchasing. Imagine yoga mat and straps are not cheap. I had to work almost 1 or 1 and half day to get it. and the fuck mat thief in bodymindlife got it for free?! unacceptable.
But then I found my fault as well. I didn’t put name tag on, It seems like every mat or mat bag has its name tag on it. Ok, there was no name, but that doesn’t mean you can have it fuck you mat stealer! then It made me think of losing yogi’s humanity, … I mean… I thought all yogi/yoginis are cool people. I thought They want to find meaning of life, maybe it’s too deep but at least like
Self discovery? self discipline??? devotion????? generosity?????? purity?????????????? This is yoga????? did I expect too much again? Why people are like this, how fucked up is that?
Then I’m like, put it all down, breath, relax, yeah.. you learn from experience, I’ll never ever again leave my yoga mat or whatever it is in public area. This is not my first yoga mat. Last time mine was similar, but different.
I had glossy black mat with redish-pink strap. The pink strap was the POINT and it was very cute. I got it a year ago because I was always looking for a reason why people mad at yoga. I didn’t use it much because I still couldn’t find a reason until this year,.
Anyway if you know Romi, Romi borrowed my mat and strap early of this year. She said she’s gonna do yoga at home. I didn’t use it for long after bloody hell
hot boiling yoga @fivedock. (I think it was like at least 40 degree)
So I was like mmm kay, but anytime if I decide to do yoga again, please give me back.
and She disappeared like she never exist 😀 wtf is that? I thought She’s my friend. We ate together, work together, go home together.. we were together all the time for like a year. and now what, you disappear like you never exist? with my mat? ?????????? ?? it’s cute glossy black mat and strap!!!!!! !!!! I still don’t know the reason why she disappeared with no reason. Maybe she wants new life, maybe she didn’t like me but pretended she does because you know, I tried my best to make her busy, etc who knows, important thing is my YOGA FREAKING MAT. Then I remember, I still owe her like $300-ish. Because I was poor last year, if you know…
I think it’s a karma. When she disappears like fucking bbq smoke I was like you lil bitch I still owe you $300, yoga mat and strap only cost 200ish so what you gonna do about it? and now what
I know She’s still in Sydney, people send me snaps of her like they play where’s wally.
Some saw her in Straty, some saw her in city. (Please stop sending me a picture, it hurts) I didn’t try to contact her at all when she deleted all her account from messenger, I could try harder to contact her what’s going on, what happened to her, but why would I? I was upset too. If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s OK.
Anyway, that karma bitch hit me so hard and it makes me feel like I’m not proud of myself because I still owe her. lol weird logic I know but it made feel a little better since I got ditched. I got dumped by ex and by a female-friend as well. What a sad life.
Think about it, the mat stealer could steal other’s but mine. Isn’t it bit weird? Like i lost my opal card on Wednesday as well, i topped up $40 that very day and it’s not registered. I left my umbrella on train that day too. All those things.. it’s classic me. No surprise, classic careless Chelsea but what about yoga mat? Why me????? Why?????? There are a lot butwhymine
anyway, It’s better if I believe KARMA IS REAL. Everything happens with reason. But if karma is real, am i that bad????? Like i deserve to lost opal card, umbrella, and remember this year my car tyre got pop-ed middle of M4. What kind of life is that?
I wanted to get manduka’s mat but not like this early…. … . . … . . .. . . .
Went to here because
I don’t have energy to write more, writing this whole blog got me upset! 🙁
***Editing on 10th Jun
My teacher found my yoga mat, it was in a drawer because i didn’t put the name tag on. It was my fault!!!! All yogi/yogini are cool as just before!
Justice is served!!!
My last sex was 7th November 2017, so it’s 2 month no sex. I am horny, I’d love to fuck someone but I want a good sex. like real good sex. You know when you fuck someone who you don’t like much and then you feel something is missing after all… even though you enjoyed.
Gym with personal trainer is mad. Especially when he grabs my pelvis and it fits perfectly.. I’m like wtf I’m trying to get fit ok
It turns me on so bad when I know he’s married and his wife and him have a kids, so it’s a plus I have much more toned body than her so He possibly jerk off in the shower while thinking about my pelvis with his perfectly fit 2 hands. Like doggy hard until our knees disappear. It’s like magnet, His hands and my pelvic bone!!!!! it’s so warm! i mean those hands! and my sweaty body! this sexual frustration turns me on too! love to do but can’t do! omg!!!!!
He sometimes snaps me like “focus!” and I lose my control more because I find sexy when guy shouts at me. How can I focus if he tells me to? it’s fucked!
I was going to write it from last night but I am having too much fun with trolls 🙁 I will be missing those retards when I’m not here! “ego stroke” will be updated by tomorrow night. (I wish)
Seriously, if I ever leave Australia, those retarded cuties I’ll be missing the most. don’t get too excited, before I leave here I’ll reveal all shit about this industry and you all will have fun of it. he…ehhehe….jokes, I know nothing about brothel.
What’s retarded but cute? if I could justify them (include myself), they don’t chase ego stroke. Someone put nude selfie here and there because she/he has never been flattered about her body. Not afraid being cocky(brag) because she/he has been thinking that she’s chicken whole her life. Her/his ego peaks by catching acclamation, from some guys(girls) who are horny and desperate. Some of you, maybe never had rapturous applause even though you wear a perfect pair of Giuseppe Zanotti, So you are more enthusiastic telling people that how nice it is… (but those are cute shoes.. tbh) anyone knows le labo perfume? ㅎㅎ I’m getting santal when I’m in Japan, also Chromehearts spinner ring ㅎㅎㅎ if I can’t afford it I’d just buy fuckyou ring ㅎㅎㅎ I am so wet rn.
Funnily enough, believe or not, few guys are enjoy a lot to talk or hang with working/massage ladies outside of brothel, because it stimulates their dopamine(directly relates to their ego stroke).
It’s true WL or ML looks slightly better than non WL/ML because first and foremost they know how to groom well themselves, make up, hair, even nail and toe nail colour, they know what’s suit them what’s not. They look apparently, OK. Plus cosmetic surgery (or any injection) makes them look even better. I would say I’m not very superficial (but Lenka.. he is really ugly turd.) but pretty things are always attract me more than ugly things. Guess it applies most of human. I know there are some sexual perversion for some people seeking ugly things than pretty things (please comment below if you know about this) but yeah. 1. they are pretty enough.
Besides, WL/ML seem like they are “down to earth” type of girl. How could you be more underclass than WL/ML? They sell their body, they have to fuck or suck dicks for money. Can you imagine how mentally exhausted it is? Smelly dick, small dicks, big dicks, but the worst dick is narcissistic dick. They think they are special because most of WL/ML he has seen, probably told him that his special, his nice, and his OK guy. Anyway, imagine you suck those sort of dick because of money… it’s pretty much giving up….giving upon to live like human.. They are living the lowest class. if I can say… they are the lowestclass people. Not because they do this job,.. because they chose to do it. you know what I mean.. it’s sad. 2. They are down to earth type and easy to talk.
As I mentioned just before, WL/ML do many things if it makes their clients feel blessed. Flattering is nothing, (eg. “you’re handsome”) I can do this shit even outside of work. Fake orgasm is a fairly typical case, giving you a personal phone number/meeting outside of work is marketing. 3. I’d call them marketing lord.
There are much more reasons why some guys really likes to talk/ hang with WL/ML, it’s to maintain their self esteem higher.. pay money to make their feel better, I don’t mind. I never mind. I am not saying that it’s wrong but I’m saying that I like the one who doesn’t give a fuck about it. They don’t spend their money, time, and energy for ego stroke, maybe most of this type of people enjoy more destroy other’s ego than build their high self esteem. LOL like I do tinder to destroy their super ego. (Actually I do tinder for some serious relationship, i mean I’m looking for a husband here)
How the fuck I wrote 3000 words before? It’s only 670 words now and I am lost, distracted, I don’t know what to write.
The second half year n5m employeeevaluation. All of sudden
Sara (Female, Chinese back ground, mid 20’s) I didn’t like her when Sara was just employed, because She’s too serious all the time. and She’s also easily stressed out, it’s Eric’s female version! how do I like her??!!! but after she gave me “kiss burn” once… we are bff now.
She still stressed out so easy, too serious often but what’s gonna do about it? She’s apparently the best daytime receptionist in n5m, I think She’s really amazing. last year around this time, I did 15-20 jobs every day with 3-4 Korean girls. She now does 5-60 jobs… it’s 3 times more than me. Of course we have more good girls now, stronger team, but mostly it’s her efforts. She never mad at customers, (not like me) managing regular customers well, FUCK! today I should’ve work with Sara because I have a gem(SHORY!!!) but Tony and me have no one we call to… If it was Sara today, Shory would be fully booked already.
Tony is great, He’s such a walking dictionary. He speaks Korean/Japanese/Chinese/English/Spanish fluently and whenever I say something in Korean and ask him what’s this in other language, he let me know in no time. But He works here only on Friday, He’s mostly in 42. So there are not many I complain or compliment about him.. His language skill is great, He likes low quality Japanese girls. (He said it’s less pressure for him)
Eric is easily stressed out, typical Korean man bossy, not flexible etc but everyone claims that He’s good at dealing with customers and I think I agree with that. Sometimes He’s too clingy, should i say pushy(?) He never let customer leave so some times customers complain about it, though, most of customers are happy with his company and he’s the oldest papasan here (I mean not age-wise, but he worked here the longest, since 201…4? He’s only middle 30’s, thus heaps younger than Miranda@Kyoto) He smokes too much.. I guess more than a packet a day, drinks too much. That’s cons
There is new receptionist Wilfred, He used to work @485 Rockdale, and I’ve never seen him but heard about him only. I worked with him 2-3 times so far, He smokes too much too and that’s it. Ivy, the Korea female receptionist who works on weekend, I wouldn’t talk about her much because She’s one of our staff who was serious about this
Xmas : Dear kyoto206 boss, please hire me, I’m sure I can do better than Lenka_X5
and told to boss that I’m planning to move shop.
Now I finally reached 1112 words, shit..
I don’t think I’ll ever want to leave my boss or this job but If I leave, I have so many more things to talk about. However I save my words for now because I LOVE MY BOSS! please don’t sack me❤
Anyway.. what was the topic? Ego?? yeah.. I have the lowest self esteem, it’s almost never exist. I have nothing to lose, I don’t care what other people think about me but at least I want to be honest. that’s my last .. last.. the last thing I’d give-up ㅋㅋㅋ just can’t bear more if someone tries to fulfil their ego by using my time. You can pretend to be whatever you want but please don’t in front of me because I’m like ego sniper. I make myself feel better by finding out their(super egos) hypocritical act >_<
I actually really genuinely don’t want to advertise on forum, I’ve lost my will ever since there are so many fakers, and still many people are pooled by fake reviews, sometimes I feel bad for my customers’ review because people would think they are same shit as rooter’s or ahloungornoria’s 🙁
Boss and other staffs always demand me to contact my bestie(loyal) customers, but I never done it because once I start spamming to my besties, my silk reputation will drop down to the bottom, what if they don’t like the girl who I recommend? and how many percentage of customer would come if I say “there’s a good girl here, you should bang her today”… Ginza took one of our girl again as usual, She has stayed n5m for like 8 hours. I got 8 hours notice to make her busy, all I know about her was her face because I have her selfie video, and service type. Failed to make her busy that night and she moved to Ginza. and I’m the one who got blamed because I didn’t advertise her well so I couldn’t make her busy. Hmm… my job.. right.. this is.. i think.. morally.. wrong. I need to convince more “not horny” people to pay fuck girls. It would be easier to think I’m like bing-lee clerk and girls are like juicer, so you don’t really need to buy it but I try hard to convince consumer, say “because boost original size is too exxy” or “beetroot juice is healthy as fuck!” as my boss said I’m just not sales person. I may generate some more interest due to my previous job, as well as shit stirring certification 3, but I.. I wasn’t born to be sales person. I write this because I have strong feeling that (TW)Shory will leave soon, and She would say she can’t make much money here so She will go try other shop eg, Ginza.
Why ginza but n5m? perhaps because I don’t like push them so hard. If you don’t want to do DD, that’s fine. We respect you. If you want to charge Diamond price but you don’t like DFK? that’s fine, we can explain to customers. If you only want to see Asian customers, yeah ok no problem. don’t want to do this don’t want to do that, and expect so much money.. ㅋㅋㅋ what about go make sushi roll @straty plaza? there will be no such fuss.
So that seems I’m a bit slack for girls’ quality control, My bad. no discipline, I should punch them on their tummy hard so noone says “no” to me. I think I’m… I’m not good enough this job… I’m serious… no good at selling, no good at quality control, what i’m doing here? (Just saying, i never punch/slap girls)
Not only girls’ quality control, We have so many staffs… whereas ginza has only 2. We even have a condom guy who delivers condom/shower gel/towels between n5m and 42g, total staffs are more than 10. There should be some miscommunication, conflict, whatever it is 뱃사공이 많으면 배가 산으로 간다.
Aclassiccaseoftoomany cooks spoiling thebroth.
Back to topic
Sorry if whole this story sounded like whinnying or complaining, please read it as my last atrocity before I leave Australia. I had the hardest/toughest time here, as well as the delightest time. Everything is overwhelmed around me because I’m overwhelming everything. ㅎㅎㅎ BK once said
“Where there’s a Chelski, there’s a drama.”
and I couldn’t be agreed more.